OK so this is where I write this amazing passage which changes everyone, the heavens open up and the light pours down, cue angels. it isn’t going to happen that way. At least for me, there are some that wake up overnight, say Byron Katie or Eckhart Tolle. That has not happened to me and I suspect that is true for lots of us.
What has happened for me and to me, is a sense of needing to be different in the world. I’ll tell you one of my moments. It was around 1997,and I saw a man and his horse and I wanted that relationship. The man was Buck Brannanman (see below). It was watching Buck ask his horse to go out of the round pen and turn to face him. The horse was on a long lead rope and I did not see Buck do anything and the horse was so soft and seemed so OK about it all, I was struck with a desire. I want that with my horse.
What I found out is, it isn’t about the horse. They know how to be soft. I put that hardness into them, by unconscious handling or just pure anger at what they were not giving me. A horse is a great animal to show me what I am doing and to encourage me to be in the moment. A prey animal is very aware of everything in their environment, in that moment because that is how they survive. One of the things I learned and had to keep being shown is to work with the horse that is in front of me. Not the one that just did what I asked but the one right here right now. He is not the horse of 10 minutes ago or the one who may show up in 5 minutes. He is this horse and there is static in our communication. Maybe it is due to his fear, my lack of being present (I took my eye off of the ball) or just maybe it is my constant assumption that he is being stubborn.
Turning this around to me, I am not the person I was 10 minutes or 10 seconds ago. Is it my fear, is it my not being present or is it my assumption that I’m just ‘being stubborn’ that makes me unhappy? There are mirrors all around us to show us what is going on inside, our children, husbands, friends as well as the animals. The question is, do we really want to see?
Note: Buck Brannaman is one of many truly great clinicians that work with people and their horses. The movie ‘Buck’ is a great way to see his style. Harry Whitney is another of my absolute favorites.
Picture Link This morning while walking with the dog, I heard a chickadee song and said “WHAT?” “How can it think that it’s Spring already?” Granted it was 20 degrees this morning compared with 0 the last couple of mornings. Now what I have discovered from the Black-capped Chickadee website is that this call starts in mid-January and gets more frequent as we get closer to Spring. So my hat goes off to the optimism of the Maine state bird and I’ll put it right back on again because it is really not that warm.
Silence is Selfish - Musings of a Mouse 