Identity Crisis – a one act play

Yes we have no eyes… yet.

Scene: A puppet laying on a shelf in a sunny room with cowboys roping steers on the wall, repeating themselves, never completing the job.  A twin bed positions itself next to a window which shows a tree filled back yard.  In the distance we hear children laughing which fades out.

Puppet:  I just don’t know

Voice:  What don’t you know?

Puppet: Who was that?  I thought I was the only one here!

Voice:  Well obviously you thought wrong.

Puppet:  You didn’t answer me.  Who are you?

Voice:  I’m a dog puppet.  I got left in the corner with the dust bunnies.

Puppet:  That’s what I don’t know.

Dog Puppet: What is it that you don’t know?  I mean what is that, what you don’t know?

Puppet:  You are confusing me.

Dog Puppet:  I think you are already confused.

Puppet: What I don’t know is: what am I?

Dog Puppet:  You don’t know what you are?  That sounds crazy.

Puppet:  That is not helpful.  I can’t help being this way.  You sound so sure of yourself so you must know that you are a dog puppet.  How do you know that?

Dog Puppet:  Well, when my owner puts me on his hand, he barks and whines, just like that 4 legged creature that scares me by dragging me out in the living room.  I’m sure I don’t look as nice as I did when I was made.

Puppet:  That’s just it!  I’ve never seen anything that looks like me.

Dog Puppet:  Well describe yourself, maybe I can help.

Puppet:  Well, I have green stripes, a mouth with a red tongue and some protruding eyebrows.

Dog Puppet: I’m trying to picture you.  I don’t think I have ever seen a creature that looks like you.  What does your owner do when he puts you on?

Puppet:  That’s part of the problem.  Sometimes he makes a hissing sound and sometimes he croaks.  It is just too confusing.

Dog Puppet:  Oh, I see your problem.  You are having an identity crisis.  You don’t know if you are a snake or a frog.  It’s not your fault if your owner can’t decide.

Puppet: It isn’t my fault?  That’s a wonderful way to look at it.  Thank you!

Dog Puppet:  You’re welcome.  I don’t know if I solved your problem.

Puppet:  Well now that I know it isn’t my fault, I think I can just be whatever my owner wants me to be.  Right now, for myself, I’m feeling a bit scaly so I’ll call myself a snake.

Dog Puppet:  Cool!  Maybe I could try another identity but I have these floppy ears and a tail.  What else has floppy ears and a tail?  Gosh, I can’t think of something, can you?  I want to be like you and get to be something different when I feel like it.

Puppet:  You know I don’t think there is another animal with floppy ears.  I think you may be stuck with being a dog puppet.

Dog Puppet:  Well that sucks!

Puppet:  I’m sorry for you.

Just then the door opens with a bang and 2 children come into the room.  One of them grabs up the dog puppet and starts barking.  The second one grabs up the other puppet and starts hopping around the room.